weight loss

Before there was a Whole30, there was me and my food issues. They had been a part of my life for so long that I didn’t realize how burdensome they truly were until they were gone.

The fixation on a specific food.
The eating so much of that specific food I felt like maybe my guts were going to explode.
The inability to pass by anything processed and sugary, regardless of how much I just ate.
The discontent I felt at myself on a near-constant basis.

The first few days of my Whole30 were rough. The cold-turkey quitting of sugar, breads, and baked goods gave me headaches and made me moody.

“This sucks,” I thought on an hourly basis. “I miss so many things.”
It did suck.
And then, at around day 8, it stopped sucking.

I felt great. I felt like I had boundless energy. Each time I said no to an off-limits food, my sense of accomplishment soared. I stopped thinking about everything I couldn’t eat. They didn’t matter. I was eating real, nourishing food. I was being kind to myself in a way I’d never been before.

It wasn’t all fun and games and feeling great. There were times when I didn’t want to cook anything. There were times when I really wanted that ice cream or cookie or glass of wine. There were times I just wanted it to be flipping OVER because thirty days can feel like forever sometimes.

Mostly it was good.

I lost ten pounds and nearly nine inches. I lost my dependance on sugary lattes and learned to love tea. I gained an appreciation for a well-roasted chicken thigh and honed my grilling skills. I tried weight lifting and began noticing definition in my arms where there was previously just fat parts. My collarbones came out of hibernation. I can do two real push-ups.

It wasn’t a perfectly compliant Whole30, but it was exactly what I needed.

I no longer doubt my ability to say no. I feel confident about myself and almost feel excited about seeing what else I can accomplish (maybe a whole three push-ups!).

I feel free.
It’s wonderful.

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This morning I went to the gym and did my usual routine: weight lifting and cardio. I used to be all about the elliptical but lately have turned my attention to the rowing machine as I want my arms to not look so bleh.

So I was doing my arm workout and got a wild hair. I walked over to the rack of medicine balls, picked up one that weighed 10 pounds, and proceeded to do twenty squats.

“There,” I thought. “I did something new.”

And then, after I finished my second round of arm machines, I went over to the rack again and picked up that same ball and banged out some more squats.

I don’t know why I did this. My thighs were sore immediately afterwards and have been sore ever since. It was a nice change of pace. Maybe I’ll add it to my circuit.

OTHER THINGS

My clothes are officially out of commission. My tops look baggy and strange and my pants sag in the ass and thigh area. It’s a nice (albeit expensive) problem to have, and now I’m faced with getting new clothes. On one hand yay! New clothes! and on the other ugh, trying on clothes is the worst.

I went to Old Navy today because the clothes are cheapish and cute, and I was trying on a button down shirt, a shirt I have typically avoided because it wouldn’t lay flat around the chesticle region and if I did lay flat then it was way too big everywhere else. Except this time I tried on the shirt and it laid flat! And it buttoned all the way down!

Tomorrow I’m going to Ross and TJ Maxx because I simply cannot afford to outfit my entire wardrobe with new things at this juncture. But looking good is a confidence booster and clothes that fit well are important regardless of the size of a person.

Wish me luck. I am not so great at clothes.

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